Rewritten
by Prince Jun
Summary: Hey, let's rewrite this story and make it ours. Throw out the past and run away from the truth and into the future. It can't be too hard, can it? After all, the past is nothing but memories waiting to be forgotten. Let's try to make things right. Femslash
1. Forgive and Forget

**Chapter 1\\Forgive and Forget**

{_let's start over_}

Heather. Lindsay. Heather and Lindsay.

Alliances. Friendships. Betrayal.

Love. Hate. Broken hearts.

Give it another chance. I'm sure we can make it work. I'm sure we can make it better.

Maybe I'm just dreaming.

Let's rewrite this story and make it ours.

{_she's so cold_}

Lately, Heather hadn't been able to get the girl off her mind. It made no sense, considering that girl shouldn't have even meant anything to her. Not when they met, not when they became 'friends,' not when Heather betrayed her.

In reality, though, Lindsay meant _everything_ to Heather.

It was a mistake to let herself fall for her. Her defenses slipped for an instant, her true feelings coming out for the first time in years.

It was too late to go back and fix things.

Thinking about Lindsay again made Heather want to bang her head into the nearest wall until she forgot everything. She couldn't do that, though. She knew it wouldn't work.

Remembering wasn't an option.

Neither was forgetting.

…But what about erasing it?

Heather hadn't considered pretending the bad things never happened. Odd, considering she used to do it all the time. It was the only way she could possibly live with herself.

Suddenly, a very thrilling thought occurred to her. Heather could change her name, her clothes, her personality. _She could pretend she didn't exist._

She could lie. She was an excellent liar.

And maybe one day, after telling the lie for so long, it would come true.

{_she's a lie, she's a filthy little lie_}

There was a problem with this brilliant plan.

Heather loved herself. At least, she loved herself enough to stay the way she was. Did that really mean she would have to live with it?

Maybe. After all, you can't truly love yourself if you don't accept the way you are.

Heather decided to settle for pretending the past never existed. It was not the same as putting it behind her, or 'living in the present' as some might say. Rather, she was running away from the truth, from the horrible person she was.

She was running away from herself.

{_running away from the pain, chaos she created_}

A few days later, Heather found herself at Rugs From Me To You. It was a secondhand wig shop that usually only stocked really crappy wigs. However, Heather had found a lovely black one. Nowhere near as long as her old hair – it only went down a little past her breasts. But it was good enough.

Heather hadn't thought about reinventing herself for the past few days, but the idea came back to her when she came across a _wonderful_ orange-red wig. A bit odd when paired with her Asian features, but she still thought it looked great. She knew she could pull it off. After all, she's _Heather._ She can make dressing like a slut seem beautiful.

She bought both wigs without hesitation.

She could never figure out why she'd bought the red wig. She'd already decided that she didn't want to hide. She'd already decided she was going to stick with black hair. She didn't need more than one wig anyway.

But whatever. It's just a wig.

{_it's more than that, it's you_}

While digging through her suitcase, finally unpacking after the fiasco that was Total Drama Island, she found a little slip of paper. Written on this paper was Lindsay's phone number.

"Call me sometime, 'kay?" Lindsay asked, giving Heather a slip of paper. "I don't ever want to forget you."

_Heather smiled, her first real smile in years._

"_I won't forget you if you don't forget me."_

_They giggled and wrapped each other's pinkies together._

"_Pinky swear."_

Heather shook her head, trying to get rid of the memory. There was no point remembering it now.

"Wait a second…" Heather realized something.

What if Lindsay _had_ forgotten about her?

Unlikely, sure. But possible. Very, very possible.

It was too soon, though. Much too soon. After all, they'd only escaped Wawanakwa a month ago.

Heather could wait. She didn't want to, of course.

But what choice did she have?

{_dream a dream that will never come true_}

{_that's okay, dreams are better than reality_}

**R e m e m b e r i n g **was not an option.

Neither was f o r g e t t i n g.

But what about _e r a s i n g_ it?

{_heather was never real anyway_}


	2. Learning

**Chapter 2\\Learning**

{_what happened to us?_}

You can't erase the past. You can throw it away and pretend it never happened.

But it never disappears.

Rewrite. Recreate. Escape.

It'll always find you.

You can always pretend it doesn't exist.

Remembering. Embracing. Forgetting.

But it'll never go away.

I'm sorry.

{_why must we spread hate?_}

{_love is so much better_}

Lindsay never hated people. Not because she thought it was silly, or because it was a waste of her time, but because she was too friendly, a much too cheerful person. Too happy indeed.

She simply did not know how to hate.

When she met her, she didn't know that she would learn to hate. She thought she'd made a new best friend and, OMG, she was so happy. _Thrilled_, even.

Heather was super pretty, super nice. Not very nice to Greta or Lafawnduh, but they were mean to her first. Lindasy didn't understand why Laquisha threw Heather off the cliff, or why Beth yelled at her and broke off the alliance, leaving Heather and Lindsay to fend for themselves.

Now Lindsay understood.

After weeks of Heather's abuse, Lindasy understood. She finally figured out why everyone hated Heather. She finally figured out that Heather was just a rotten little bitch. She finally learned that 'BFFs' don't treat each other the way Heather treated Lindsay.

She finally learned how to hate.

Lindsay couldn't stand the anger coursing through her veins, the desire to make Heather's life miserable, the sorrow brought on by betrayal and lost friendship.

She hated hate, but could not control it.

{_this is why we hate_}

Lindsay. Tyler. Lindsay and Tyler.

Initials carved into a tree, surrounded by a heart.

Lindsay didn't know that she was breaking Heather's heart.

{_how cute is that, their initials in the trees!_}

He promised to call her. He _pinky swore,_ even.

So why hadn't he called?

Lindsay waited and waited, as patiently as she could possibly wait, but it was weeks before her cell phone finally rang. A number she did not recognize.

"Tyler?" she asked, repressing the urge to squeal.

"No, it's me," answered a female voice, vaguely familiar.

"Who?"

The girl sighed, sounding almost depressed. Ugh, she sounded so familiar. Who was she?

"Heather."

Well, that answers _that_ question.

"Oh." The excitement faded from Linday's voice. "Hi, Heather. What's up?"

The words were forced from her lips. Lindsay didn't _want_ to talk to Heather, but she couldn't bring herself to say so. Like the invisible bond that ties old friends together, Lindsay felt a certain loyalty towards Heather despite her betrayal, something that urged her to at least treat Heather kindly.

"Oh...nothing much," Heather replied. "Just wanted to talk. How 'bout you?"

Just wanted to talk? Weird. Even at Wawanakwa, Heather rarely talked to Lindsay just because she could.

"Waiting for Tyler to call me." Lindsay giggled a bit, as though to convince herself that she wasn't worried that Tyler wouldn't call.

"Oh, well I guess you can call me back if-"

"No, it's okay, he..." Tears welled up in her eyes. "He still hasn't called me. Since we got back from the island..."

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry,_ Lindsay thought. _I can't let Heather hear me cry..._

She wasn't entirely sure why, but she couldn't let Heather know she was upset.

"Oh. I'm...sorry," Heather said, interrupting Lindsay's thoughts.

Conversation was awkward for a while, but eventually they were talking about nothing of importance, acting as though they'd been best friends for years.

Almost like everything that happened between them was gone.

{_pretend it never happened_}

Crying doesn't fix your problems. Neither does anger.

But they can help you cope.

They can help you heal.

Lindsay learned that the day Heather called her/

She learned how to forgive. She already knew how to forget. Could she forget this?

Heather was learning to heal and be happy. Lindsay was teaching her how.

Lindsay was learning to hate and forgive. Heather was teaching her how.

Now, who could teach them how to love? Nobody.

They had to learn _that_ on their own. Would they help each other out?

Or would Tyler take Lindsay away and teach her how to lust?

{_the answer is unclear_}

They hadn't yet discovered who they really were, who they really loved, who they really wanted to be. They were newborn characters in a story still untold.

All they could do was wait for it to unfold.

{_all you need is someone to help you_}

**C r y i n g **doesn't fix your problems.

Neither does__**a n g e r.**

But they can help you _cope._

They can help you **_h e a l._**

{_remembering, embracing, forgetting_}

{_but it never goes away_}

{_i ' m s o r r y . . ._}


	3. Try Again

**Chapter 3\\Try Again**

{_restart, rewind the hate_}

{_turn it into love_}

Look, they're happy! They're hugging and kissing and crying tears of joy!

They're ecstatic!

Screams of joy and love and -

Oh, no. It's just a dream.

At least it's not a nightmare.

{_this can't be real_}

"I'm dreaming."

Heather sat on the floor, staring at her cell phone, which had been in use only moments before.

She was going on a date with Lindsay.

Okay, so it wasn't a date. They were simply two friend-ish girls going to the mall where Lindsay lived.

But Heather could think of it as a date if she wanted to. Either way, she was going to hang out with Lindsay for three days. She simply could _not_ wait.

Best not to act too excited about it, though.

{_why not just let go of her disguise?_}

"Eee! Hi, Heather!" Lindsay hugged Heather and squealed. Heather allowed herself a moment of excitement and squealed with her.

Okay, they weren't just friend-ish. They were friends.

Heather would have been happy with just her friendship, if only she weren't so selfish. Of course everyone wants more than friendship from the person they love, but many would be happy with what they could get. Heather wasn't quite like that.

_Love._ Heather loved Lindsay? Heather loved Lindsay.

She jsut wanted Lindsay to love her too.

She would be satisfied with that.

{_is all love unrequited?_}

Crowds of people filled the mall. Giggling couples bonded by puppy love, parents dragged around by preteen daughters, girls admiring the window displays. Voices melted into an incredibly loud mess of sound. If Heather had to guess, she'd say this mall was at least double the size of the one at home and three times as packed. It was pure chaos.

Lindsay looked a bit worried, as though she hadn't expected so many people. She grabbed Heather's hand and slipped her fingers between hers. She gave Heather a look that said, "_I don't want to lose you._"

Heather wanted to stay that way forever, her fingers intertwined with Lindsay's. She didn't want to lose her, either.

The girls fought their way through the mass of people. Heather had no idea where they were going, and was about to ask when a Justin Bieber song she didn't recognize started playing from Lindsay's purse. Lindsay pulled out a pink cell phone.

"Hi!" Lindsay said. Heather didn't hear what the person on the other line said, but suddenly Lindsay started squealing more than she had when Heather had arrived at her house.

"Tyler! You finally called!"

Heather froze. _Tyler?_

It couldn't be. He hadn't called _once_ in the two months since Total Drama Island had ended. He had to call _now_, when Heather was finally able to spend time with Lindsay?

Heather had been so distracted, she hadn't noticed that Lindsay had let go of her hand and wandered off. Like Heather wasn't there. As if she didn't even exist.

Heather was all alone in an unfamiliar mall. She couldn't even leave, because her car was at Lindsay's house. She was lost.

More importantly, she had lost Lindsay.

{_she lost everything_}

She couldn't cry. She wouldn't let herself cry.

She would never let anyone see her cry.

So Heather, fighting back tears and choking down sobs, tried to maker her way through the crowd. Bodies shunted her aside, shouted at her to watch where she was going. She was almost free, she could almost see the doorway to the outside-

She crashed into somebody.

Rather than shouting at her or pushing her away, he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Confused, Heather looked up to see a familiar face.

Duncan was there to save her.

{_an unlikely savior, but could it be true?_}

Sometimes the most unexpected people show up in the most unexpected of places and do the most unexpected things.

Sometimes those things save your life, or at least your sanity.

In this case, Duncan is that person. The mall is that place. Kissing Heather is that thing, the thing that either saved her sanity or completely smashed it.

Maybe he didn't know what he was doing. Maybe he was just messing around with Heather's head, trying to play with her heart. But he was _there._

For some reason, that meant everything to her at that moment.

"Hey babe." Duncan wiped a tear from the corner of her eye; she hadn't realized she'd been crying. "What's wrong?"

Heather shook her head. She didn't trust herself to keep quiet if she opened her mouth, and no way in hell was she going to say anything to Duncan.

He didn't seem to care either way. He just took her hand and led her out of the mall. She sent a text to Lindsay, a vague text saying she was going to to some other place with some guy.

She wouldn't care. She had Tyler.

{_all alone now, with a man she barely knows_}

Heather _l o v e d _Lindsay.

She just wanted **L i n d s a y** to love her too.

{_it's just a dream_}

{_at least it's not a n i g h t m a r e_}


	4. My Love Is A Lie

**Wow...I apologize for the delay. Life caught up with me and I had no motivation to type this...**

**Also, I've been looking back and I'm incredibly unhappy with what I've written for the next few chapters.**** The story seems to be steering away from the direction I'm trying to go. ****YMMV, but I feel like the quality of this is slowly decreasing...****hopefully it gets better, haha. I mean my God I absolutely hate the ending. I had to rewrite it because it was present tense and it ended up being terrible.**

**Either way, I promise that chapters will start coming in again and I will never write an AN that takes up the entire iPaq screen ever again :)**

**

* * *

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**Chapter 4\\My Love Is A Lie**

{_you and i_}

Hey, let's sing a song.

Sing along if you know how it goes.

_Without you, there's no reason for my story. And when I'm with you, I can always act the same._

_Forever, yeah, if we're together..._

_We can make it better._

{_of course, another lie is gonna make it better_}

Heather and Duncan sat in a nondescript little café across the street from the mall. Heather stared out the window, watching strangers wander in and out of the mall. Duncan did not try to force conversation; he merely sat, as though waiting patiently for her to speak.

He probably just hoped for an easy lay. Whatever. Heather was just grateful to be away from that gigantic, crowded hell.

"I thought you hated me," Heather said, keeping her gaze on the window.

"What?" Duncan looked bemused. Either he had no idea what she was talking about or he had not expected her to talk at all.

"I thought you hated me," she repeated. "Why are you kissing me? Why are you even talking to me like a normal person?" She left one thought unspoken: _How can you even act like you like me?_

Heather was suddenly suspicious of his motives. If there was one thing everyone on the island could agree on, it was that Heather was a total bitch. Unworthy of kindness.

Duncan shrugged. "I dunno." He spoke so casually, as though they were merely discussing schoolwork or something of that nature. "It just...didn't seem right."

Didn't seem right? Had she heard him properly?

"I try not to kick people when they're down, unless it's Harold."

"But-"

"Look, you may be a complete bitch, but you're hot, and I'm sure you'd treat me one hell of a lot better than Courtney."

"So what you're saying is..."

"Go out with me sometime. See a movie, hang out, whatever."

_You're a bitch, but I want you anyway. Let's go out._

He could've just said it like that. Tactless, but it would've worked for Heather anyway.

"Sure." She smiled a bit. It wasn't a real smile, but it seemed to be the appropriate thing to do.

"Awesome." He gave her a sort of grin/smirk.

Heather observed Duncan closely. His hair and piercings screamed 'poser,' but he had fairly decent teeth. His piercings weren't infected. He was short, yes, but most guys are when compared to Heather.

She could pretend to love him.

It wouldn't be rea but it'd be so much easier than loving Lindsay. After all, it'd just be another lie.

Just like the rest of her.

{_it's more than one night, but still, it couldn't hurt_}

Duncan and Heather hooking up was incredibly random, and the fans found it intriguing. They didn't attract as much attention from the paparazzi - at least, not as much as expected.

Either way, many pictures of this new couple cropped up online and in magazines, occasionally attracting the attention of shows like Celebrity Manhunt.

Heather rarely talked to Lindsay after that day at the mall. It reminded her that she didn't love him, that Lindsay had abandoned her without a second thought.

Heather and Duncan were not very close by any stretch of the imagination. This could be interpreted many different ways, physically speaking. In their case, it meant they never went beyond kissing, the occasional make-out session.

Heather one day found out why.

{_this is why we're never close_}

Awkward hands held him close, fumbling, unsure. It's not like she hadn't done this before, but it was different now that she had her mind on someone else.

Heather tried to lift Duncan's shirt, but he smacked her hand away. She shot him a confused look, rubbing her hand. He sighed and shook his head.

"No, Heather. No." He said it as though he were scolding a dog.

"Why not?" she pouted. Heather honestly didn't care, but it pissed her off that someone - _especially_ her so-called boyfriend - was rejecting her.

"God, you're such a whore," he muttered. Heather opened her mouth to retaliate, but he spoke again before she could.

"Okay, fine, you want to fuck me? You want to see why I won't let you? _Fine._"

Bruises, scratches, scars marred his skin. They all said one thing. One sentence, seven syllables, loud and clear.

"_This is why you can't touch me._"

"Say anything to _anyone,_" he growled, "and you're dead."

She didn't think he meant it, he loved her, but she couldn't keep from feeling just a bit afraid he was serious.

{_this is why i can't let you touch me_}

She could p r e t e n d to love him.

It wouldn't be _r e a l ,_ but it would be **e a s y**.

It would be just another lie.

Just. like. the rest of her.

{_oh, why can't she love him?_}


	5. Reality Came Crashing Down

**Chapter 5\\Reality Came Crashing Down**

{_is this real?_}

This entire story could be a lie.

It could all be in my mind.

It could also be true. It could be the very true story of two girls who didn't know how to love.

It's either true or false.

But it's real.

{_yes, it's real_}

Heather had forgotten about her read wig.

She'd been desperately hunting forher usual wig when she came across it. It was just as beautiful as it had been the day she bought it. Maybe it was silly to think she could pull it off, bit she still decided she'd wear it that day.

Hopefully Duncan would like it.

She smiled and admired herself in the mirror.

_Baby, I love you, I never want to let you go._

Heather's phone began to ring.

_The more I think about, the more I want to let you know..._

She hated the song, but thought it seemed pretty fitting for Lindsay.

_...that everything you do is super fucking cute and I can't stand it._

Without warning, Heather's eyes began to water. She smashed the ignore button so she wouldn't have to hear the song again.

She kept being reminded, over and over, that Lindsay was not hers; that the guy she did have was a broken punk wannabe.

She flipped open her phone to check Facebook. She took a look at the time. 7:53 pm. About seven minutes before Duncan was supposed to show up, and she knew he'd be late. He was always late, anyway.

Once Facebook loaded, she typed in a meaningless status about the date she was about to go on. As she was about to hit 'send,' a status caught her eye.

_The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person._

"How pathetic," Heather muttered, snapping her phone shut. "Probably some unloved nerd whining about how they're gonna be alone forever or whatever."

They probably didn't even come up with it themselves, she thought. Probably got it from some stupid book or something.

It didn't matter. It had nothing to do with her either way.

As the days flew by, though, she realized that this wasn't the case. That the saying was true.

{_at least now she has the answer_}

"Why would I go to prom?" Duncan asked indignantly. He and Heather were discussing the possibility of going to prom together. Duncan, of course, vehemently opposed the idea.

"Come on, Duncan. I want to go to prom with someone I actually give a damn about."

Unless Lindsay magically decided she loved Heather between then and next year's prom, that wasn't going to happen. Still, she had to pretend she loved him.

"Ugh." Duncan sighed. Heather could imagine him rolling his eyes and giggled. "Fine, I'll go to prom with you. Whatever."

"Great." Heather smiled, though she knew he couldn't see her. She discovered she was slowly learning to care for him.

She didn't love him. Probably never would.

But she at least cared about him.

And that's almost the same thing, right?

{_maybe it was better, in the long run_}

The one you **l o v e** and the one who loves you are never, _ever_ the same **p e r s o n .**

{_invisible monsters hunt us all_}

**If anyone can tell me where the above quote comes from, they get to name the next chapter. (the quote above the brackets, not the quote in the brackets. hehe.) I don't know why I decided to do that, but I did. So.**

**Also, this is where the story sort of...derails. I'm not quite sure what I should do at this point. Do I discontinue this, put up what I've written and try to figure out what to do from there, or scrap the next few chapters and rewrite them? If you have any ideas, please leave a review and let me know.**

**Also holy shit FFNet makes this look ridiculously short. It seemed so much longer when I typed it on the iPaq o_o**


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